Wednesday, December 29, 2010
When we were in secondary school, our photos are very naive-looking. It's like we can totally ignore our stupid hairstyles and braces, and take that single photo, just for the memories.
It's impossible to have the same expression and feelings and thoughts every single moment of your life in front of the camera right? So, what's with the cloned poses? People might as well cut and paste the picture of "you" in every photo right?
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Appreciate, cause you dont have to go through all those blood and sweat and revolutions to learn about nucleus and cytoplasm or F=ma. You get it just by going to MPH, buy a book and read. To get the hold of part of this big *ss universe we're in....
(sounds so familiar..)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
When thinking about choosing the pathway of life, at such young age, how would anyone be sure that they wouldnt be regret in their later life? I mean, how they know what they would want to be and would be in the far far unforseen days?
I know many of my peers are worrying about the university courses they will be taking soon and the career pathway, my juniors too and just maybe, my seniors. How sure are you about the type of job you wanna be stuck with your entire life? or at least, the type to start off your working day? the job that earn you your first pay check? But maybe choosing the university courses is not that important, neglecting the amount of money involved, because that's what the wise man says,"you may not stuck with the same job your whole life." Take a turn around the corner, some day, some where in your life when you are sick of your job or you have seen better opportunity.
True. Maybe, i should not consider and worry that much.
But the irony i would like to say here isn't about university courses, rather... the irony that some silly girl would face, would worry about - yea, silly girl like me.
During my grandma's younger days, she had not much choice or opportunity to decide her life. Every one was just following the norms. She was not allowed to start her own career nor enjoying higher education. So, she made the best out of her life by being a perfect wife, mother and grandma that took care of this big family. But during my mom's days, she was given a choice of having tertiary education. She was given a choice of having a stand in the society who started to realise the importance of gender equality, to voice out her own opinion and to work outside home. Then, it's my time.
So then i was thinking, how lucky we, girls are today compared to the fore generations. Yes, i mean, not the say lucky, but gender equality should be there since long time ago! It should be a SUPPOSE, not what we got from a "lucky draw". It is a fact that now we have 2 choice, to be housewife or to join the working force and compete against men. Both have their advantages and disadvantages right? Well, obviously for me and any friend of mine would know my clear and absolute decision is the later one. That's how i am built! Being rebellious, kiasu and ambitious, staying at home, clean the house and take care of the kids are definitely not my priority nor consideration, AT ALL. I need to get out, i need to have my own career, i NEED to own my own multinational company, NEED to earn my own billions and billions....so many dreams. Dreams of independence, without relying on my better half. So, there's some truth in daily horoscope - Capricorns always prioritise ambition and work than anything else. Anything that separates me from my dreams shall be destroy! (lols but i'm serious)
Then this morning, when i was on my way to college, i saw a car driving out from the car garage of a terrace house. An indian woman opened the gate and stand by the open gate, waving at the driver. That smile on her face, as if nothing else in this world is more satisfying than watching her husband go off to work every morning and then clean the house, making sure everything under that roof is in order. Yes, sometimes I wonder too, what a peaceful life it is. No competition, no worries about how the stock market goes or !@#$ !@#$ employees or anything while the working moms out there are struggling to balance between family and work, worry about how the kids are not properly educated and also about the dateline for projects at work. There's no time to clean the house or cook a proper, nutritious meal. Every time your husband come back, either you are still at some work-related event or you are too exhausted..asleep or still in front of the computer screen continuing your work because of the new kiasu colleague at work. Worst to worst, your husband don't understand your work. (Lucky then if both are in the same field) The home sweet home might be not that sweet anymore.
So there's the irony. Wanting a peaceful life or an adrenaline saturated, competitive working life?
I.......still choose the later one. Confining me in a space is a NO!!! I need challenges!
That's whhy whenever my conversations with friends touches this topic, my answer would always be, "Wait la, till i get my PhD, own my company and buy a multibillion mansion on the hill."
So, i do look forward to meet you, my competitor, in the top notch society in near future! ;)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
I’m so glad that my mom came to visit me this weekend. Though stonning at genting, it is also a very enjoyable moment. Cause I never knew sometimes, being idle is also… so relaxing. I was just sitting there with my laptop on, “Life Greatest Lessons” book in my hand, though my mind was empty, with eyes staring into the air. People with so much laughter and fun passed by every second. My first visit to genting was a happy and memorable one, but with a sad burden, that time. Though, I will never forget it. A few more times followed after that, every time I played until mad. Screamed and shouted until I lost my voice. This time, I just chose to sit at starbucks.
Then, I paid a visit to University Malaya today. Never knew I had the chance to step foot into that old legend of our country. My uncle who is a cardiac surgeon once studied there. I always heard about it from textbooks and photos and tvs, but never expected to come here today. Actually, my sole purpose of coming to UM wasn’t just to randomly walk round, rather to visit a very special person, someone whom I haven’t seen for such a long time – My blind cousin, Ah Yao. Yes, he is blind, in fact, all his siblings are blind. Though, instead of giving up himself, he fought for his rights. He studied hard, topped in the list of SPM scorers among the people with special abilities. And there he is, with government scholarship, came here to pursue his dream of a humble yet noble profession – A teacher. He is taking his degree in Malay Studies.
I haven’t seen him for few years, 3 years minimum. He is a few years elder than me. We saw him walking from his hostel afar, following the yellow guidelines on the road with his walking stick. Properly dressed, of course. He could recognize the voice of every single person there, even after such a long period. We had a conversation with him. Those moments, sense of pitifulness and empathy was nowhere sawn; instead, the courage and honorable traits just shone through his eyes though the cornea turned fully white and opaque.
Rarely do I have the chance to meet a person who appreciates life so much, making the best out of it instead of complaining and grabbing every opportunity offered. He was staying with another blind guy from Sarawak in his hostel at UM. I was wondering, how 2 guys with sight disabilities stay together? THEIR ROOM WAS SO NEAT!!! Much cleaner than mine, haha. Shame on me I guess. They have 2 laptops on the table too and 2 very high end printers.
We snapped a few photos and left. Don’t know when can we meet again. I hope not long in the future. So long, ah yao, if you are reading this. J
“I would continue standing strong even when the whole world gives up on me.”
p/s: Thank you, Mommy for coming here and help me clean the apartment. :) HEHEHE, now i feel more like staying at home instead of venturing around.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
- offer your jacket when she's cold (without her yelling cold first)
- tune down the radio and lower air cond fan speed when she falls asleep in your car
- help her to carry her books/stuffs etc, even when she says it's not heavy
- when sending her back, make sure she enters her house and is safe and sound then only you leave
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
- British/Australian reference books are in big chunk of paragraphs, finding the point is your job; Malaysian books are mostly in point forms. Easy to understand.
- Brit/Aus books really tells you in detail (from my personal perspective) of why and how about a fact; Malaysian books: THIS IS A FACT. SWALLOW IT.
- Brit/Aus books not much example; Malaysian books: Welcome to the world of examples.
- Brit/Aus books not much exercises, although there is special books for exercises; Malaysian books, after each chapter, topical exercise, past year exercise, model exercise etc. etc.....
- Brit/Aus books many coloured pictures :D; Malaysian books, mono-coloured... =.=" but we survived. So malaysians are colour blind??!?!?! haha
- Last but not least, the price. Let's not compare such obvious point.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
While chilling around, it isn't hard to notice that almost every human walking pass was holding an iPhone, pressing away. Multitasking generation? Why not! We can walk without looking our way, study while listening to the music, staring without looking and many times, talking without thinking. How great...Enough bout that, the atmosphere was as usual. There's noise, but with the new urban filter on their ears, it isn't hard to notice the laughter and contents from our fellow friends.
Yes, we only listen to what we want.
I quickly pick it up to avoid my colleagues from knowing who had messaged me. The conversation stopped, laughter silenced, awkward stares thrown over.
"What's the matter, bro?" Fred asked.
"What?" I replied, annoyed while sliding on the screen to open the message.
"You seem agitated."
"No, I don't." before blocking out the disturbances to focus on the screen.
Please not other people.
Please don't let it be Mom asking about what i had for lunch.
PLEASE dont let it be Mr Chew.
[Congratulations! You have won $100,000,000!.....]
Gosh....why!? Argh! Without second thought, the message has been deleted and phone dumped on to the table harshly.
Sitting there without a word, my mind filled with so many confusing and irritating sounds...The jokes and laughter by Fred and all my other colleagues now seems totally evil. I wished they could just shut up.
"What's wrong? Want some donuts?" Fred asked.
"Wow, chill man! What's with the shuddup?"
"Shut up..." I repeated. And more swearing followed... The heat within just burn up suddenly.
I pick up my phone again and opened Facebook. Looking through those photos just sort of cooled down me. How i wish...
*Beep beep* "You've got message!" I quickly open it.
[Hey, sorry for the late reply. Was busy checking through some documents just now. So, what's up?]
[Re: Oh, it's ok. Erm, nothing. Just wondering if anything happened to you. But seems like you're busy, i'll talk to you later.]
[Re: I'm ok, free now. Is there anything important?]
There's noise and laughters all around
So many distractions...Yet, it all doesn't matter now. The person at the other end may not know, but just that one message, made his day, make everything perfect. What he would really love doing is just smile and message, to that particular person, of course.
Monday, August 09, 2010
You know like whenever we meet a person, sure we'll judge him/her straight away. even before they started speaking or what. we judge them and we decided whether to be friends with them or not. If we dont want to be friends at that split second judgement, most probably, we wont talk for a long long time, unless an event happened that force us to talk.
Maybe you dont have that feeling, but my first second judgement is so strong. It's like i know how a person would be like the first glance i had on him/her. If i dont like the feeling, I wont talk to him/her at all. I could have talk to every one else in the world that i had good feeling but not that person. My hypersensitivity....
I had always dont really like...not to say hate...just not very good feeling about a person i've met recently. For such a long period of time, our total conversation could be less than 10 sentences i guess. I dont know why, she didnt do anything bad to me, but i just felt annoyed with her existance.
Though today, something happened. I was so anxious. There's no one that can help me anymore. I had no choice but to ask for her help...She didnt doubt and did her best to assist me without complaining..If I were her, i would have just ignore myself. I mean, why should i help a person who was so ignorant to me? What's my benefit?
I was so grateful of meeting a person like her now. She may not know how did i feel cause i never really showed it out, but Thank you Lord, for showing me-
So next time, without a concrete reason, dont simply judge a person by first impression. The content of that person may be the most wonderful gift you would ever receive.
Like the most common idioms ever sounds: never judge a book by its cover. :)
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
I once thought, being able to come to Taylors to study, How blessed am I? I would never be this blessed again...ever....
I once thought, knowing God and Jesus, in the way i used to know them when i was in secondary school, was the most blessed thing ever again...never would it be better than that...
I was the one who always reject those trying to reach out to me. thinking they are too extreme. Till now, i realised, it'll all truth. It may sound like I'm being HYPNOTIZED or what..but i'll never lie to you on this matter.
Though, till recently, there's so much stuff that happened, so much GOOD stuff that filled me that i dont even know where to start, to thank God, our heavenly father. Yes, our ALMIGHTY Father, who would give so much, so much...even His Son, Jesus...to bless us.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO READ ON.
When i was very young, i used to go to Sunday school. Though, i never understand a single word the teacher said. Since i forget when during primary school, i stopped going to sunday school. I just dont see the need. WHY SHOULD I WASTE MY TIME THERE? Doing stuff i don't even understand and i dont care. Praying to an "IMAGINARY" person, whom never seem to matter in my life that time. My life was great, i thought. Great food, great entertainment. No early morning wake up.
Though during Form 2, a very good friend of mine asked me to go to church fellowship. I doubted for so long. Few months i remembered, only i went there, because she offered transportation for me. I thought ok lo, since many of my friends going to that fellowship, i just tag along and play la~~ Though, it wasnt as fun as i thought. It's not about games all the time. I just doesnt seem to fit in. And I dont really feel that I was accepted into that family...
So, I only go to the fellowship once in a blue moon... Then, i did join the Sunday service and church choir, trying very hard to make myself understand all these. To understand what God had done for me. Praying and devotion on my own was totally out of my mind that time....
Still, i thank God, for giving me that chance to at least, be near to Him. At least....
Well, i came to Subang. Fortunately, my friends and I found a church so nearby our house. I was still in doubt at first, to whether should i go to church or not here....i knew study was going to be hard and busy and everything. Well, thank God again, for giving me a friend who FORCED me to go at the beginning. (Though we argued much...I was so rejected at the idea of going to church here)
I do pray to God once in a while, when i remember: Lord, please help me be nearer to you. Lord, please give me the chance to serve you more. Lord, please let me understand you more. Lord, I open my heart to you. Lord, please let me surrender myself fully to you.
Since then, many incidents happened. At first, i still dont realise what is happening. I thought, it was just luck, sheer coincidence. All the achievements and glory He gave me during my secondary period was nothing, i thought. I thought it was all because of my hardwork, my born-genius gene...
Then again and again. I knew something was prompting me...guiding me through my every day life.
Miracles happened again and again. I was awed.
Studies. Friends. Every day life. Church life. and my Heart towards Him.
(Even when i wanted to cross the road, I feared of being knocked. Though, i realised recently, it was almost every time i want to cross, the road emptied...coincidence? think again hmmm..)
Though, i still couldnt say now, that i am TOTALLY 100% perfect for Him. I'll continue praying that, one day, I could be what He want me to be. Because i compared and realised, life before Him was totally worthless. I don't wanna go back that life again. I realised, only with Him, I could achieve great wonders in His name.
Only with Him, i had the courage to write all these down.
Yes, i was once like you.
(I wasnt born genius. I wasnt born friendly. I wasnt like how you know me now)
Though, today, He had chosen me to in part of His family, to be His witness.
And one thing that i can 100% tell you that: Life is perfect for me all because of Lord Jesus.
Dont believe? well, it's up to you then.
But remember, whenever you have a chance like that, dont reject it, just take it from a different prospective, ok, you may not want to believe at first, thinking it is all nonsense, then take it as an...entertainment...at first.
Cause i have total confidence that, One day...you'll be just like me.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I woke up this morning from a dream. That's weird, cause i had never dreamed for a long long time already. It's something about my family but i forgot what is it about, but i'm sure the dream is just a neutral and normal storyline. Cause, no special feelings.
But no to be odd or what, I just have to confess that, my dreams do come true 90% of the time. I'm not being frank really! No matter what type of dream is it, whether a normal daily life scene or out-of-the-world surprising ones, it just does come true. And when it comes true, i knew it (though i may forget it the second i woke up).
Like when i opened the door and saw a person; walking in the mall and saw something awesome and took it up; a breath taking scenery in a place i had never been before i had the dream....etc etc... These all happened before. It gave me goose bumps everything the exactly same scene repeats...
Weird thing, this deja vu.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Hey guys, I'm back! well, this time i'm not sure for how long. Well, the story of my life for the past few months or should i say since the start of this year, had been quite.....unbelievable. All shocking and surprising stuffs. Though not all happy, yet it all ended happy.
SO nao!!! i'm happy. :D
K...where to start from?? From January, after i came back from Macau and Singapore, Fiona, Yee Ling and me (of course a few more guys too) came to Subang Jaya, Selangor. Dont know any much ahead of us, we just had been super BLESSED and rented a house directly opposite Taylor's College, our COOL college (where i find so hard to leave later on). Our landlord, Aunty Kim, was a retired nurse, she was super kind. The rental was awesomely cheap and she's like second mom to 3 of us. Wash our clothes, talk to us and taking care of us whenever we fall sick.
We enrolled in South Australian Matriculation (SAM), well more of like Self Abusing Matriculation (and i'm not joking!) Didnt know what to expect, this program which is so called very easy program compared to A Levels IS TOTALLY VERY VERY VERY INFINITY HECTIC!! Assignments and class test literally every week...Compared to our fellow friends in CAL, we dont have much free times. Well it's like study until mati those type of situation.
At first, I was so not used to it. Being stressed and worried that my MARK being deducted every single day i go to school, isn't it sad? Then I realised, it really is like this. SAM. I got used to it, though my assignments werent perfect, i tried my best in those class test. The SAM lecturers are super COOL!!! I SUPER SUPER SUPER love them. :) And about my groupmates, S8...hmmm....I hate you guys!!! Argh!!! You made my life miserable for 5 months! OMG...Lols...K, just kidding. S8 is definitely the BEST CLASS (except some part of it) you could ever dream of. Our lessons were always funny and relaxing...Laughing throughout the day is very common in S8, yet we are not only clowns but very efficient clowns indeed. :D
Class trip to Mount Nuang (10 freaking hours), BBQ, outings with the mere 5 girls in this 30 people group (Engineering class ma...), burning the distillation apparatus with ping kee during chem practical test (shock till O.O) and many many stuffs. These bunch of people change me totally...*gasp* K enough with all those touching stuff...
They made me crazy. =.="
Then all of the sudden, following the releasing of SPM result, i got JPA scholarship.
- twinning to Ireland and Penang Medical College.
- Bond with government 10 years
- INTEC 2 years alevels
I finish my semester 1 in SAM and... "forced" to go back while waiting for A levels in INTEC to start. I was so worried. I went for another scholarship to save myself instead. I was so sure that i wanted engineering that I applied for Shell Scholarship and got it. Though local ones, I was still very happy cause at least i had the chance in this field.
But couldnt argue over my parents about that 1 million worth medicine scholarship, I had to prepare to go INTEC instead. Just maybe, i hope, someday i would love this career. I hope I would not regret, it's not like i dont go after my dream. Being a doctor is my dream since very young age until this year only i changed. I once had the passion, I'm lost, I just need to find it back. I was in total dillema.
Talking to my seniors, I'm not sure if I could take the life in INTEC or Medicine or not. Totally worried and everything....My friends encourage me to go after my dream too. Thanks a lot to them for giving me all the support.
But i was like torn in half.
Just 2 days before 4 July, the day I'm suppose to go to INTEC Shah Alam to register, i couldnt sleep the whole night. What am i going to do? I prayed and prayed so hard. Lord, please just answer me, lead me, wherever You wish, though i dont really favor going to "that" direction..please....
The next morning, i went to the dentist. At the second i opened my mouth for the checking, my phone rang. I answered, "Congratulation Christine! You were awarded the Top 30 National Scholarship! So your JPA would be terminated!!!!"
my heart skipped a beat.
Am i dreaming????
"So now, you can choose whatever you want, wherever you want. With more allowances too. Congratulations... "
I nearly fainted. For the first time in my life, I never felt this happy, I never felt as grateful and blessed by Lord before, HE ANSWERED MY PRAYER IN SUCH A SHORT TIME.
This is a miracle.
When everything seems impossible, He save me out. Thank God.
So now, I'm back guys. Back in Subang. Back in Taylor's. Where i am super happy and comfy with...Continuing my studies in CAL and in the process of thinking what to do next...what miracle God would perform on me, again.
p/s: Photos are available in my Facebook account, for friends only. (safety purposes)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The HO talked to us. He was also a scholarship recipient who studied in Russia. 6 years there. He told us about life there. He said it was ok, studying was fine and the allowance given was really huge amount that he got to travel around the world during winter breaks. And only then I knew the tuition fee in Rusia medical school was much cheaper than Australia! It was approximately RM150,000 only compared to the almost 1mil fee in Australia. My my…But the living expenses there were huge too but please prepare about RM300,000 for that six years if you have the intention to study Medicine there.
Then we went into Labour Room!! Haha. Surprisingly, there were quite a number of mothers there waiting for deliverance and many had just finished. So when we reach there, no screaming was going on but we heard sound of heartbeat of babies in the air.
~Skip the cleaning placenta part ~
(The most interesting part but terrifying normal souls like us. Too much blood.)
When we put on the gloves and mask, we got scolded by a nurse. Well, we deserved it. Because we didn’t know how to put on it properly and didn’t ask for instruction also. So…haha. Fortunately, the scolding was worthy because after that, we were taught in detailed about the way to wash hands, wear and remove gloves and mask. (What we normally do are all wrong!) NEW THING! :D
Then, we spend the whole afternoon in O&G clinic to observe the way of doctors communicating with patients. Soft, tender, not harsh yet professional. Do not get carried away emotionally by patient. Remain calm at all times.
Tomorrow: Specialist Clinic and Closing Ceremony!
p/s: Help..dont want go back KL already. My homework hasn’t touch while most people already finish…!@#$!!!!!!
Went to the orthopedic ward today. 7 doctors including housemen, medical officer and specialist. In this ward, you can see lots of metal frames and heavy loads around. We went for a round and saw
- a guy who was just admitted had his hand (behind thumb) slashed open. Tendon cut. Yikes....seems really really painful. Flesh and blood stuck on the dressings.
- A guy with amputated mother toe. The amputated foot wasnt stitch Flesh and blood again. Plus, bone. This is the first time I saw real bone exposed like that. Because last time when people keep telling me they cut until can see bone inside, i dont get it. Now i do, and it is not a pretty sight, believe me.
- Woman with amputated leg. I didn't know what her story was but the nurse just told me that when her leg become black, it means it is "dead" already. No oxygen to that part. It had to be amputated as soon as possible, if not, the germs there will spread to other parts of the body and amputated area has to be wider and wider...pity her. But luckily hers is still below knee level. And i learned that we can take off the stitching thread on day 14.
- Another thing is that, we must not lie on the same position with the same pose for too long time. It will cause the skin on your back to become like rot. A big hole filled with pus will form…partly cause by heat.
- Today is “soft tissue day”. Most new cases and related to soft tissues (means not bones)
- We went to the children ward too!!! Saw kids there but pity them also. Sick children.
Oh ya, michelle from chung hua also joined us today. She didn’t notice the letter until yesterday. Well, thank God that I went to check on Sunday. (I think God suddenly told me to go to the website and check… :D)
After ward round, we went to the houseman’s case presentation. :D This is my note which…form less than 1% of what he said, because we do not understand what he was talking about most of the time:
Bone and Joint Infection
Osteomyelitis . TB.
Osteo = Bone. Mye=Marrow. –itis = inflammation
So osteomyelitis is Bone Marrow Inflammation.
It normally occur in thoracalumbar spine in adults. Common in infants born with difficulties. Epiphysis is expanding part of new bone.
Treatment: Dehydration, antibiotic, surgical drainage.
*the houseman was asked to draw lots of diagrams too. So, brush up your arts future doctors!
Then I went back to the ward while my group mates went to have lunch. While waiting for my stomach to become hungry, suddenly the Dr Denny and a HO wanted to do bone traction. (what?? Nevermind, you’ll see later). So, I decided to stay back even though I was hungry already…haha There was a guy with bone fracture at thigh. To make the 2 parts of fractured ferum into a straight line, a metal rod is to be inserted through the tibia and a heavy load is hanged on the metal rod.
The 10 kg is…exaggerating. Don’t know the real weight. But during the operation, the doctor first make a small cut on the skin, blood gushes out and while the rod was bring hammered hardly (literally) into the tibia and out on the other side through the skin, the patient was like “aduh aduh! SAKIT!!! KEJAP!! SAKIT!” (local anaesthetic injected only)…I feel like fainting. Not sure if it is because I was really too hungry or it is too hot there or this is just bloody terrible. Maybe all..haha I decided to walk away and take a breath then go back in again. The doctor ask, “So, you still want medicine?” Lols…I’m not afraid of blood!
After that…I had my lunch straight away. Cannot stand the hunger anymore, how did the doctors starve whole day??
It was more or less like this today. Afternoon we did not do anything… :P
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Surgical Department today! Was late by 1 minute today because I went to the school before going to hospital. :P 3 of us spent some time looking for where for we should go but barged into the Operation Theater door instead. But at last found Sister Wong at the Male Surgical Ward.
She gave some briefing and let us follow the Dr Wong, Dr Suraj, Dr Tarek, Dr Kenneth and Dr Chong(houseman) round the ward. We walked from one cubicle to another. The environment in the ward is much calmer than E&T yesterday and most patients there are waiting for surgery or had done it. What the doctors did was to attend to each patient check on their condition upon referring to the previous diagnosis or reports from tests. We were quite confused with the doctors’ conversation actually but made an effort to listen anyway. (all those “terms” =.=”)
Then we went to the Female Surgical Ward. There were fewer patients there. Some with jaundice, gastritis, goitre and finally cancer. We witnessed how the surgeons told the patient that she had tumor. It was hard, you have to be diplomatic, be gentle yet firm at the same time. The patient and her family member started to cry, they keep asking, is there any hope? What if the tumor is removed? Any hope? The surgeon can only tell them, it can be removed but total remove or not, it is not guaranteed but do not give up, there is hope. Yeap, the tender loving side of a doctor. We all have to understand how big the pressure is to tell someone that he/she has cancer or cannot live any longer or things like that. But that’s how a doctor’s career is, a doctor is not a god, a doctor can only do his very best to save a person who depend on him to stay alive.
Then, we went to the Palliative Care Unit. The patients sent to this unit are those like with last stage cancer. The tubes connected are significantly less and the doctors told us this is a unit to let them relieve their pain before they “depart”. The family members of patients here should be prepared but that doesn’t mean give up hope. The doctors still do whatever they can to save the patient. We saw them; some looked ok while 1 was suffering. He was gasping for air literally.
We went to another ward and came back. The one gasping for air had passed away. Shocked. This is the first time whereby 5 minutes ago, he was still alive then the next, gone. The family members all gather around discussed about the funeral. The body was covered by white linen. Then attendant from bilik mayat came and took the body away. We looked at the doctors but they can only continue with what they are doing. Maybe, they are used to it already. As what we have been told, there are 2 things in life that is for sure: 1. Taxes. 2. Death. So, we should accept it as it is.
We also went to Intensive Care Unit (ICU). Yea, saw many complicated machines and tubes inside. The aircond broke down so it was a bit warm inside. The funny thing is, one of the patients inside use magazine to fan herself. Haha…ICU patient fanning herself with magazine, believe me, you can’t imagine how was it. The nurses tried to help her, but she insisted to DIY. But I believe she was quite ok one already, moving to normal ward soon I guess. :D
Afternoon, the doctors are busy doing their paperwork and nothing much happened in the ward. After talking to some of the patients which was really awkward because I don’t know what diseases they had, no knowledge about their diseases and some don’t even know what disease they had. So just a mild chat and I decided to go to the pantry and chat with Sister Wong. Well, I found out she is Sharon Wong’s aunt. Haha. My group mates were at somewhere else chatting with their friends. So I tried to glance through my homework but the weather was too warm and I became so sleepy…At last, I napped in the pantry. Haha… Only after my group mates came by to wake me up only I go walk around the wards again. The ward seems to stink in the afternoon but tolerate with it please.
There was also another family crying and mourning later in the afternoon. Another death case. They follow the attendant who was pushing the body to the bilik mayat while calling out the deceased’s name loudly along the corridor. Sad.
Whole afternoon of walking around the wards then chatting with candidates from O&G and orthopedic department, it’s finally 4pm. Doctor Tarek finally came back and with 3 housemen, he went to round the FMW again. I met Lynn Wei!( Or should I refer her as Dr Wong here. Hehe. ) And 5pm, go home!!!
Today, I had learnt to: communicate with patients, Life and Death.
Tomorrow: Orthopedic Department!!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
I only knew I had to attend this program yesterday afternoon. Thank God for suddenly letting me have the urge to open the JPA website. Actually I was posted to Hospital Kuala Lumpur because I thought I would be in KL during the time of program. Who knows…it will be this soon and I am back in Miri already. So had this tedious process of calling HKL, JPA and then Hospital Miri to let me transfer here.
So, 9.00 am sharp, reached Hospital Miri main entrance. I think the last time I came here was during primary school because of asthmatic attacks last time. Since it healed, I had never stepped into this placed hence no whatsoever memories. It was a bit dark but peaceful. Typical hospital but with no medication smell. We registered ourselves and sat down in Niah Room. There were 14 of us and luckily, Kevin, Clement, Choon Vui and Tze Kiong were there too. There were student posted from Limbang, Marudi, Lawas and Bintulu too. Ms.Yusliha (if not spelled wrongly) briefed us first. She was very outgoing and friendly that made the whole situation goes from super tense to fun. She told us about the rules and regulations and all sorts of stuff. Then the Ketua Pengarah came and said a few words too. (Mostly about being a doctor not very glamorous and all) Then a senior MO came and advised us to remember to come back to serve Sarawak after graduation if we really DID medicine. Then Dr. Wong, a surgeon came and talked about surgery, not much about that but more on a doctor’s life again. About how we have to sacrifice everything, to help people, no like what shown in TV, have to be really determine to finish medical school and everything. We had a good long talk then.
Enough with that, then we are divided into groups. Was happy because I was assigned to a group with 2 other students from SM Sains. I mean, MEETING NEW FRIENDS AGAIN, yeah!! Haha. They are Charlie and Nur Sharyn. 2 very polite future-doctors-to-be. :D For the first day, our group went to the E&T dept (Emergency and Trauma). Woohoo…was so so excited, because I believe this is the most nervous and busy dept…(I guess only ok, I don’t really know how a hospital operate now) When there and wow, packed with patients. I never knew Hospital Miri would be so busy, patients keep coming in non stop, some urgent, some not, but all “not in a good mood”. I mean of course, who would? They are sick what… We met our first MO, Dr Priscilla Joseph. She’s nice though really really busy (Bear in mind, the ratio of doctor to patient in Malaysia is about 1:300 as told by the senior MO, 300 MAN!!!!!!!) She looked very professional. We also met a medical student posted here from England.
E&T have 3 zone, Green, Yellow and Red. Green is for normal patient. Yellow is where most emergency cases enter after the primary triage. We saw a lot of people there and it stinks at first, but we got used to it after that. We also visit the Bilik Pemerhatian for stable patients under observation.
- How they take blood sample (looks like a painful process, I don’t know…) Even baby had to do so and he cried like no tomorrow. But we have to be careful not to touch the blood with bare hands because blood is very dangerous.
- People having sodium chloride and dextrose infusion. Helped a patient to carry her infusion pack while she goes to toilet…lols..
- Patient with swollen eyes (Something opaque blocked the whole eye ball which reminds me of Saul. Haha)
- Patient with heart problem (The nurses measure the heart electric impulse by sticking some suction clips with gel onto the chest...k la, i'm sakai, never saw it before k...)
- Patient with ehem…genital part problem. What should I say, this is the first time I look at people’s genital part. I mean, directly. It was a bit awkward at first, but the med. Student say we should just get use to it. K fine. We actually saw a few more patient with this type of problem after that
- Patient who was unconscious being sent here and the MA (Medical assistant) keep pumping air into him.
- People who was sent in due to car and domestic accidents. Saw the MAs help them clean and sew up the wound.
I can’t sit still the whole day. Charlie and Sharyn were already tired and sitting there but I keep running around…look here look there… :p
The ambulance from Berkenu, Limbang and Miri were coming in non stop. I did make an effort to ask an ambulance driver if i could have a ride in the ambulance but...who knows, asked the wrong driver, he was the Limbang Ambulance driver. Haha....
And lastly, this is really due to my ignorance. There was a guy sent in with breathing difficulties. So I was standing right beside his bed. He was unconscious. Then a MA came in, he pointed ILI with his fingers to me. What? What ILI? Then he went away. I continue looking that guy. Dr Michael, another MO came in and told me, “He got ILI o..” I was like “What?” “You don’t know what is ILI?” “No” I replied, still smiling… “We suspect he got H1N1.” AAAA, I ran away immediately. Lols. I know if I really want to be a doctor, no matter what type of disease it is, I should face it. But man, I have no mental preparation at all for this… (haha and no mask) So I quickly grabbed a mask from sister and put on after that…gosh…haha…
DEFEATED? No!!!! Instead, this made me even more interested about this whole career. Back to medicine field? Erm...let's talk about that after this 5 days program.
Tomorrow: Surgery Department!!!