Another character of mine exposed: I'm a very competitive person. I do not know since when did I develop this trait because situation wasn't like this long time ago. Though i realised, it was since then, i started to strive for better things and improvements, both upon myself and people around me. High expectations and all those craps. It does bring me to a higher place. But recently, i find it very annoying. It's like, I am born to a people-pleaser and fulfill people's expectation. Do you ever feel it? When you felt that it is your forte in a thing, then the next moment, another person right beside you, could do it better than you, millions of times better. it just destroys all the confidence. And ego acts. Trying to beat that person, and the NEXT person doing the NEXT big thing keep coming in. And we're in that never ending chase. It creates all the invisible barriers and pressure on our shoulders, draining our souls and the spirit to be just ourselves, instead of competing. Have you ever felt that?
Without any competition, human would not develop as fast. (And there's no iphone4, no cars, no internets and you wouldnt be able to do what you are doing right now.) The exponential curve of technology, science and human development would collapse. There's always sense of content and gladness of course. All people living happily. And imagine cavemen living happily. Then all of these melodramatic lives of modern man would not come true. You and I would still be sitting in the caves, doing exactly the same thing our ancestors did. But is it because of that "sense of inadequate" that made us what we are today? The sense of wanting to be better? Or maybe best?
But of course, we should not ALWAYS compare ourselves to others. That would just make our lives even miserable than before. We're create unique, and that's how we should be. We're all gifted in certain area and "retarded" in some. We're all not perfect, and trying to be perfect, is not going to work, cause we will never be.
It's like comparing a red apple with a green apple. Which doesnt make much sense, cause you would said red apple is sweeter and green apple looks better in colour etc etc. They are created that way!!! Why compare?! We're not perfect - A sad reality but an awesome one as well. Hence, being a people-pleaser is not what we should be doing! That's certainly not the purpose of ANYONE's life. We're all not born to make others happy. Instead, to fulfill God's purposes for us.
That's the question I had been pondering about lately. What's God true gift for me? What is the tool I have to fulfill His will for me on earth?
Maybe you can think about that too and pray for it, if you haven't figure it out.
So lately, I have read about to overcome this COMPARISON COMPULSION syndrome, we could try serving others. Especially those who cant repay you. It trains your humility and connect yourself with others. Yes, serve the Lord and also the people around. When you do that, it's no longer comparison but compassion cutting through. :)