Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Not the right time

Clearly, it's not the time yet. I've learnt to observe and judge based on the shallow experience i had in this. Elders told me again and again, being the normal stubborn me, I'd never listen to any of those kind-hearted advices. Yea, as adventurous as a person could get, I will never really take it unless I've been through it, a.k.a. - Learn it the hard way. Of course, not drugs or alcohol or pre-marital sex, not even committing suicide or murdering a soul (mosquitoes do not have souls, do they?). But in this particular subject, I do not know, where on earth did I get all the courage to go through it, fall miserably, but get back and try again in no time. This is dumb, stupid and wasting my youth, yet, I've no regrets going through it.

The experience is priceless.

I've learn to see people behaved so foolishly but savor every moment of it. Learn to see how they act before and after it - you'll also be amazed how different a person could be when they are in it. From one extreme to another, I had also learnt no one is perfect. No matter how flawless a person is at first sight - time will be the teacher, the witness and the ever sought-after counselor - You're never right. There's always this flaw, this thing that the person could not get away with as sung by Lady Gaga, "Born this way."

I thought i was truly ready for it. But no, I'm not. I'm far too immature to be involved. Too weak and too timid, to step foot into it. Seeing things in a biased way, or maybe adolescence's illusions, no, I'm not gonna bet all my future into one. "Unless, it's God's will," I've once said, and still holding tight onto it. Not to use God's name in vain, but really, unless there is an intervention from Him, and He CLEARLY show to me, this is the right time, this is a perfect plan, something I've reserve for you, you can now proceed.

Until the day, I could stop picking on flaws, others' and mine. Or maybe not, never will.
I should say,
until the day, I could accept them sincerely.

note: The subject and objects are not in this passage at all. Will not disclose it. Apologies for confusions caused. :)

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