Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Do you ever have the moment - when dreams and goals suddenly become so clear? Clouds of blurry thoughts and doubts, on your capabilities, your personality, your family, your surroundings and just you, being you, suddenly vanish? There, your goal. What you are after. What that have been so subtle all these while. What you are trying so hard to grip on but never seem to work. But, now, it's here. This is what you are going to do for life. This is what you are going to be passionate about and never regret about it. Though it is a choice you've made during your youth, but you know, this is the best decision EVER. (No, i'm certainly not high on drugs and entirely sober)

And suddenly, those hobbies or activities that are going on, doesnt seem very constructive and insignificant to whatever you are going to do. Your interest in all other fields of life falls off. Though the dream may be small, and you can't describe it in words, at least, you are willing to figure it out. No, I will never regret about this.

What are those efforts all these years? Are they just going to be efforts in vain? Maybe some of them are, but I'm sure most of them reaffirm what I had in my mind. If it's yours, no matter how hard you tried to escape from it, it will just come back to you, whether you like it or not. I thought I was the point of no turning back because I was forced to take it, accept the fact that, this is Life as it is. And is this the moment my prayer has been answer? Could not be absolutely sure yet, but one thing I could be sure is, I am now at the point of no turning back, not because of under force or tolerance to reality, but as a person who is so eager to live it out because I have this good feeling and that tiny voice inside saying, this is your life, it's gonna be good. You'll like it.

It's something like faith in God. Believing without seeing literally. But you just know His there.


Remember this moment. And vow to never forget it.


Monday, June 20, 2011

After your dreams

“We’re looking for
very special people
, the cream
of young doctors.
We tell them
to go out and meet people and
to choose their PhD supervisor.

What are we offering? Hard
work, more uncertainty
, but also
more opportunity to do what you
want. True, you don’t get a lot
of time off. But the
of adding a few stitches to the
bottom right-hand corner of
the tapestry of life is

Professor David Lomas,
Deputy Director of the Cambridge
Institute f
or Medical Research

Sunday, June 19, 2011

When Faith meets Superstitions

Those that I am about to write, are merely based on my experiences, thoughts and of the shallow knowledge I've possessed till today, quoting verses from the Bible. And also, again, serving as a personal reminder.
I need to make a confession, here, publicly, because I presume many of us have encountered the same situation in our daily life, in the hope of bringing some light to you, my dear reader - Superstitions, more often than not, are quite prominent in our Chinese society where traditions have been passed down from our ancestors who prioritized rituals and taboos, with the hope of blessings of t wealth, health and prosperity from their ancestors will rain upon the generations to come. What has triggered me to write on this topic out of the blue? Two reasons:

1) I used to think praying to God the night before exam is bad for my exam. Surprised? It was because of this dumb, coward and selfish thoughts I had. I thought, by praying to God, Satan will purposely pull me down as he always work in the opposite way God does? So, to prevent "attracting attention", I don't pray. I lost my confidence in God, lost sight of how He is the almighty God, and that we should never doubt his sovereignty. (Ok, go on, laugh at me. Do judge and condemn me for those evil thoughts) But as I grow (which i hope i do spiritually and not just physically), I've learnt quite a few lessons which I took them as Private Lessons Specially From God. He has shown me in a few ways that things do not work out like that, and gave a few "mild punishments" as gentle reminders through conscience and several other events which when i reflect back, they are not as insignificant as they seemed to be. Even if it does work that way (the attracting attention way), we should not give in just to get what we want, right?! No! No! No! We should never deny our heavenly Father under any circumstances. (I have referred to John 14 in this case) And thus, prayed that this selfish thoughts never will intrude my mind again.

2) Ah, wedding! What a happy thing to discuss about. But remember how our grandparents and parents scurried to find an "Auspicious Wedding Date" when the couple (who are supposed to be married long ago but didnt but finally decided to) announced that they have finally decided to tie the knot? (Maybe you haven't had that experience.but as the youngest in my family, with so many grown-up siblings and cousins, it is a very common scene to observe) After consulting elders and flipping through the Chinese calender again and again, alas, the date of ceremony was set. The date which was believed to bring most luck to this couple, so they would have a happy and long-lasting marriage. (And of course, on the day which most relatives can attend the ceremony. Mind you, this applies to Christian couples as well) And how bout those rituals? Like putting two flowers on the bride's hair, groom's family must send 5 types of grains to the bride's family, etc... What are the rationale behind all these? Chinese traditions, you may say, though we may not understand why is it done so, but we still adapt to it. A culture, which must be preserved, something that we are proud of, being the descendants of so-and-so. I'll take that, but why, when some of the steps are missed, or there's slight difference between families of different dialects, major arguments are bound to happen? Aren't we celebrating a happy occasion? Don't those arguments disrupt the peace and harmony, which we are trying so hard to achieve through the rituals, instead? And would your "luck" be less if you missed one of those steps? Why are you depending on those lucks anyway? Don't you claim yourself to be the genuine believer of Jesus Christ? And does Jesus ever mention anything about needing luck?

Apart from those, this superstitions and taboos thing also happen so regularly in our daily life consciously or subconsciously. (I find it easier to use examples for exam as I am a student myself undergoing all sorts of examinations very very frequently but i believe it is also very common in the working community) For example, you must bring your "lucky pencil"; wear your "red underwear"; mustn't wash your hair the night before; must walk certain path to the exam venue...Break a mirror and you'll have bad luck for 7 years; do not open your umbrella under the roof; do not walk under a ladder; if a black cat cross your path, you will have bad luck. All sorts of funny acts. Why, may I ask, are you holding on to these procedures with belief that they will bring some sort of luck, when you clearly proclaim through your mouth:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:

Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
born of the virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried;

He descended into hell.

The third day He arose again from the dead;

He ascended into heaven,
and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Ghost;
the holy catholic church;
the communion of saints;
the forgiveness of sins;
the resurrection of the body;
and the life everlasting.


Are these just a joke? Or something you are forced to memorise?
Do what you've said! Believe solely, in Jesus, and not be a slave of luck. Don't live life under the fear that luck might overturn you one day, but live life boldly with the faith on Jesus that will never turn His back on you.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

So pray to God fervently, for a heart that guard against these thoughts,
The name of the Lord is fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10)

Friday, June 17, 2011


Now that excruciating five bloody weeks have passed (never knew i could survive that, Thank God for saving me from suicidal attempts) , I'm currently enjoying a good life back in hometown. It seems like i just finished my last paper, physics paper 1 yesterday. But more than a week has passed. and one more week, I'll be back in Subang, again. Urgh, how i hate the journey back there. Alone. Depressed. Having to overcome the strong desire to rush back home and somehow solder my feet to it. But for the sake of "knowledge" eh?
Feels like ancient China man who had to leave his little village, deep in the mountains, all the way to Beijing, and take the exam to become officials, or to be more precise, "scholars". If you succeed, congrats and welcome back home anytime you like; if not, please start panicking where are you going to earn your next meal from and wonder if you would ever have the chance to step foot on your birth village again, even when not repressed by financial issues, but of pride, to face your aged parents at home who sacrificed their life long savings just to fund your journey to Beijing and now you come back empty handed. Do you even dare to crush their high hopes right in their face, my dear son? and how about those relatives and neighbours around? What are they going to say?
Okay, this is getting too far off.

Right after exam, I ffked my dearest beloved gang and went to search for suit for this oldman for the upcoming prom. (You know who you are) It's just so unfair how girls have to put in sooooooo much effort and time to prepare for prom and how guys could just recycle what they
have in their wardrobe. No make up, no nothing. Just put on a suit. (I tried 22 freaking dresses in a day, 22!!! just to find one that I'm happy with, RM185 including alterations, super happy...heeheee..) Though, this perfect-fitting-suit-searching process has proven me wrong.
Never knew it would be so hard to find a not-so-common yet sharp looking and a suit that fits perfectly. Even harder when you have a tight budget eh? Anyway, that oldman decided to spare his wallet and RECYCLE. Yea yea, environmental friendly. I still hold on tight to: That should have been a good investment. A proper, nice piece of suit, never a liability, but long term asset! :p ok, enough pressuring. You very leng zai during prom, ok?! HAHA

And the next day, I joined class trip to Sunway Lagoon. Rare opportunity to have a clss trip like this. But anyway, only half of the class turn up. =.=" so much for unity. Hmph. HAHA. Anyway, the regulars, crazy bunch of people were there. (The main contributors of noise pollution in our lovely PM20)

Fortunately, it was a sunny day!!!! We bought all-park passes. Freaking expensive, RM85. But Worth the day spent with great friends.

Me and Wan Jing

Oh ya, this is wan jing. One of the siao po in our clique in class. After our first ride in the amusement park - Pirate ship, someone came down and puke. AHAHAHA. Had a good time on the pirate ship especially when it was upside down, watching everyone's facial expression was the best part!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!! (Love heights and speed! :D) Can't stop laughing at them while they all were screaming their lungs out. Went on to Tomahawk, where a few !@#$ers, trapped us inside the ride and made the staffs to make us go on the ride twice, one right after another. But I still couldnt stop laughing at Jia Noob when all the vulgar appear half way through second round of the ride. Went on to screampark. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST PARK OF ALL. Ok, i admit I'm a coward when it comes to all these supernatural stuffs. As we were walking through the park for the first time, we were so afraid that we hugged each other so tight and simply scream whenever we hear any weird sound (ok, may be it's Didn't even dare to open my eyes. Screamed until our voices were coarse. Went in second time, we decided to counter our fear by singing KEN LEEEEEE (please search in you tube for this video) so loud that we got scolded by the "ghost" inside to respect them. So we stopped singing, and started talking. Got scolded again. =.=" Epic fail. Celebrated Wen Jing and Li Teng's Birthday at Marrybrown then went on to Waterpark and chilled around at the Big Wave with Jee Yen and 40. Ah.. life after exam, we can shamelessly afford to float aimlessly the whole afternoon on water while enjoying the sun. :D Great day...

Had Klang tour the next early morning with a friend. Instead of the usual Bak Kut Teh, we tried Pai Kut rice and "miu ge"? (i don't know how you call that) some kind of pinched noodle-liked carbohydrate. Something like pan mee. How come Klang got all these nice food? Watched Kung Fu Panda 2. Any of you who havent watch it, MUST WATCH, M.U.S.T. It was very "lame" but couldn't stop laughing for hours...

Went for make up and hair do in pyramid after that. RM121. T-T and rushed to prom...The food and deco were amazing but the whole event was rather messy. Every one kept walking around and snapping photos... Didn't really bother what happened on stage or maybe because I was sitting very far away from the stage. Didn't even know who were the prom queen and prom king. HAHA. Anyway, had a great time. :D
Yuen, Amy, Nadzirah and I
Bimbotic pose. :p

Super disliked the make up. Due to the price paid, had to hypnotize myself "It's fine. It's ok" =.="

Rushed to Langkawi very early next morning at 5.30am. Zombie mode. Rented 2454, Innova to move around with. RM280. Shall summarise our first day journey in point form.
  • Kawasan Beras Terbakar. To see a plate of black beras. =.="
  • Went to Makam Mahsuri. Grave of a woman named Mahsuri. It's some kind of myth or legend that she had indescribable beauty, she was accused of having affair with some officials, she was punished and tied to a tree, white blood flowed out to show that she was innocent. She cursed Langkawi to be unable to develop for 7 generations. So Langkawi was sort of in "run-down" state until Malaysia regained independence.
  • Checked in at City Bayview Hotel.

  • Had awesome lunch at Orchid Ria Restaurant. Learned to eat sotong ring! :D
  • Went to the famous Pantai Pasir Hitam

rubbish every where. sigh
  • Went to Oriental Village and geopark. Went up 700 metres above sea level. Breath-taking view up there. Had a great time laughing at Noob and Wan Jing who had acrophobia. (View the photos of their freaking amusing and rich expressions on my facebook albums)

40, Wei Jie, Xiang Yang, Noob,
Me and Wan Jing.
(While jeeyen and zi xuan rather stay at the foot of the mountain)

In cable car :D
Me, Zi Xuan, Wei Jie and 40.

pfft...bunch of childish teenagers.

(whooppsss. shouldnt have join them for this photo! haha)
  • At night, had fun playing our usual game "Truth or Dare". Got lots of "precious" information that night. ;)
  • second day, had breakfast in hotel. Went shopping! It was great shopping here with all the duty free shops. Bought couple of nike and adidas shirts at 50% normal price. and lots of chocs too!! :D
  • Went to Jetty Point and Eagle Square. Jetty Point is another shopping complex, it's newer compare to other malls. If you havent rent a car and wondering where to get one, (as taxi fares are kinda expensive here. of course, you can try other means of transportation like cycling if you are fit enough. But i doubt anyone would want to waste their time cycling around... ) this is the place where many random uncles and aunties will stop you and ask if you want to rent a car. There are few franchise eateries here too (Kenny Rogers, KFC, Big Apple Donuts). It's kinda cloudy that day, but we were fortunate enough to be able to go for Island Hopping. We went for a private package for having the whole boat to ourselves, maximum 8 individuals per group. Of course, you can join bigger groups too and pay at individual prices which I believe is more expensive.
  • Island Hopping includes Pulau Beras Basah (just to hang around the beach), Pulau Singa Besar (Eagle feeding) and Pulau Dayang Bunting (need to do some light hiking here to get to a lake, beware of monkeys.)

  • Switch hotel to Holiday Villa which is outside of Kuah town, nearer to Pantai Cenang. Had a filling, delicious and cheap dinner at Fat Mum Seafood Restaurant.
  • Played "Truth or Dare" again at the beach. Got dared to hug some foreigner's daughter. =.="
  • Some liquors here are as cheap as mineral water. A tin of carlsberg at RM1.50 only. But no, i don't drink beers. We bought 4.8% alcohol content vodka. Taste like soda. Dont worry, all above 18 except one little boy who did under-aged drinking. Should have reported him. Haha. It's impossible to get drunk with that, unless you drink like...100 bottles of it?? Well, still, I'm not encouraging you little kids out there to drink alcohols.
  • Slept quite early because I was being paranoid over something that night. stupid me.
  • Third day, packed. Went back to Kuah Town and did some last minute shopping in duty free shops. Bought even more chocs.
  • Boarded noon time flight back to Subang then back to Miri.

Typical view of Kedah state.
(Only knew Langkawi is in Kedah) :p

So long, Langkawi!

Ok. Done reporting. Before i forget, Thank you to the 3 macho guys who tag along who ended up carrying bags for us and become our drivers. You guys are shoooooo sweet. HAHAHA :D Will touch more on thoughts after this post.