Monday, September 05, 2011


It has been long since I last met her, my elder sister, or rather, since i last met any of my siblings or family members. I'm just glad to be where I am now, even with so many stuffs to settle at college/studies.
My siblings are much elder than I am, at least 8 years and above. And me, being 19, some how never feel that is an odd thing. I grow up to think, having a sibling which is a couple of years elder than you is weird. My siblings are the people I look up to, other than my parents, those that I seek for advice and encouragement for they have the experiences though not much because we grew up in almost similar condition, of course, i know mine deviate much than that of 3 of them since their ages are close to each others'. They will somehow understand what I am going through and give appropriate advice. More importantly, I trust they are the people who genuinely want to help you and love you since the first day of your arrival in this world, other than your parents.

When I was just a child, I am clumsy and timid in the eyes of public, but I believe in my eyes of my direct family members, I am still clumsy, but rebellious and mischievous. You will never know what sort of trouble I will get into anytime, even worse, when I am left alone almost whole day at home. It did not started like that. When i was a toddler, my mom used to send me to day-care centre before she went to work and my siblings were still attending classes in their secondary school but I vividly remember how excruciating the process of getting me into EVEN the door of that day-care centre is, for her and for me. I would scream, yell and cry, kick and punch and do whatever to NOT STEP A FOOT INTO THAT PLACE. I do not know why. The aunty there was friendly and I was the eldest kid in that centre, others are just...babies or toddlers who could not even talk properly. It was just like sending me to hell. But some how, they always manage to "bribe" me, or should I say, trapping me like hunting for animals, into that house and when I turn over, my mom just VANISH and her car was no where to be seen.

I forget exactly for how long that lasts, but definitely only a short while. I think my mom had a hard time resolving my day-care issue. She even tried leaving me in her staff room in school. There was a period of time, I was cared by my siblings at home, after their classes. They would take turns to control this little monster while I just order them to do stuffs like some princess/king (they still think i act like that now). I remember how i used to snoop into my sister's drawers when she was gone for school, then i would take all her soft toys and crayons into the living room, turn some short stools over, arrange the soft toys between the 4 legs of the stools and pretend I am driving a train. Then my sister would come back and realised her stuffs magically disappeared. Any retard would have guessed it was me, being the youngest and only kid around (it's impossible to be my elder brothers or parents right?!). Then she would scream at me, I would shout back something that makes no sense and we would eventually end up fighting. Yes, literally fighting. Imagine a 5 years old kid fighting with a 13 years old teenage girl, that picture was funny. How silly, no? But being the youngest, my mother always sided me and my sister would suffer all the scoldings. ah... :p

My brothers are different. I always feel inferior to them, unlike to my sister. (Sorry sis!) My eldest brother is 10 years older than me and he looks exactly like my father during his "handsome" days. He is the sort of brother who would smack you real hard (though he never do this to me) and scold you like there's no tomorrow if you do something wrong. But yea, he is a leader among the 4 of us and also in his school. I do not really remember much of what we did when he was in secondary school because I was still very young. But I do remember when I was just starting primary school, learning how to do summation 1+1=2, he has entered university by then (and yet, even after 10 years, i have not step foot into a uni, sad case. haha). He used to bring me to the campus. He would take me by my hand and walk me around, and his mates would ask, "Who is this?" "My daughter," he always replied that way. Given the circumstances that people do not know our real age, I was unusually small size when i was young and my brother was really tall, this reply seems perfectly logic right? I was even a bulb when he brought his girlfriend (now my sister-in-law) out for dates. Pathetic.
(But yea, don't worry, i don't remember a single detail..i just remember we went out...)

Then there's my second elder brother. He was a chubby teenager. I love hanging out with him because he is such a comfortable person to hang out with. When I was in primary school, we have this afternoon classes which you have 1 hour break before class starts. My brother would send McD Happy Meal to my class for lunch. Ask any of my primary school classmates, I am sure they tell you how vividly they could remember this. The myth about the malnutrition of Happy Meal? Rubbish, look at me now, I am not obese and certainly not a a dwarf or...grew abnormally! I am perfectly fine. HAHA. Nah, i'm just joking, having too much fast food definitely will stunt your physical growth but I do not know why it has not happened to me. or maybe it did? hmmm.... But yea, my brother always help in the kitchen and I used stare at him when he was doing the dishes and thought, the woman he's going to marry next time is probably the luckiest woman on earth. Haha.... and, it seems quite true, right, bro?

During the graduation ceremony for each of my siblings, we would take a family photo. So that's 3 years consecutively. And I remember my mother said during an occasion, appreciate the last few years 4 of us have together because it will not last long, like how my parents experienced with their siblings. True, after my eldest brother graduated, he moved to another city for work. Since then, we all started to move out of the house for studies and work, and we rarely have all 4 of us together at the same time except during chinese new year. And i fear that chance will not even last any longer... Now we are all grown up and each leads very different life. My brothers are married, starting their own families and soon, my sister will be married too. It's the beginning of another generation.

Though we may be physically apart, but our hearts will always remain together.
Spending couple days of my holiday with my sis here in Singapore has made me realised all these. I only met her 3 times for these 2 years. It's my holiday, but I feel guilty for not working and spending time fooling around here but, damn it...I have been studying every day for the past months, and now I just need a break to spend time with my sis who are just few hundered kilometres away. If you value money, power and fame more than relationship with your family and loved ones, you just devalued yourself. I despise you.

I am glad to be where I am now. Thank God for my family.

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