Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Identity Crisis

I wonder if any of you out there have ever watched "Bridesmaid"? prob macho guys out there would just turn down this movie once they've seen the title and won't give it a second thought, but girls?

I've been thinking a lot lately,  (yes, i do posses the ability to "think" too, just...not that developed, yet.) and..I'm afraid of so many "what-if"s that may/may not happen. Those scenes in "Bridesmaids" are like metaphors, a warning of what may happen in the future. I confessed in a camp recently that I'm afraid of the future. It's glaringly obvious to every one around me and if you haven't notice that, I guess that's a perfect answer to the question of the subtle "why?" in "How did you do that?!"

Yes, that's how scared I am all these while.

Afraid of failure is a failure in itself but from whom does failure comes?

Just to quote "The best thing of reaching the bottom is, it's time to bounce back up." Beautiful, isn't it? But to face the bottom. I guess that happens, the pain, the sorrow of losing or afraid of losing something or someone happens when...you put too much hope, love, time, effort, literally your whole LIFE into it. It was until the point that, you've enslaved yourself to it. When you lose the person/thing, you've lose your identity. puff, you're gone. end of story. period.

Are you really who you are? Or are your work? your partner? your friends? your talent? your wealth, fame...? When people address you, how do they do it? "So-and-so, oh, a smart person! brilliant student! multi-talented!" WHOA! but what if you have to give up all of those one day, when you are no longer YOUR-CAREER or YOUR-FAMILY?

No, of course I'm not telling you to abandon your loved ones but the point I'm trying to make here is, what are you building your identity on? Isn't it something that you worship?

"You should worship the one who is worthy of your worship."

Who am I?

p/s: "Cast Away" (2000) is a movie I cried so hard when I was watching. Precedent to none, of no successor. oh well, maybe "marley and me" came close. A scene in "Bridesmaid" reminded me of that... :')

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